Passing By

Migrated from 1.26.14

Time gets by me so quickly anymore. I truly have to pick and choose what to “accomplish” for my day and sometimes it is merely getting dressed and providing meals. To be sure I have significantly more time as Bubba gets older. I am still grateful for each shower I can take nowadays without checking in with hubby. For a long time, we would ask each other “Are you ok if I take a shower?” The little man was just so much work for such a long time. Even now, with his independence and curiosity growing each day, I am very happy he plays self sufficiently for relatively long periods of time. I marvel as he confidently toddles around the house because those days of holding him for hours on end are still so fresh and near. On top of the difficulty of his pregnancy and birth, the whole first year was one of the most draining experiences of our lives.

I have been enjoying The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley, working here and there on an afghan, baking and meal planning periodically, and even blogging somewhat sporadically. I am taking a hooping class on Saturdays and I can go to the store sometimes for as long as I want. I am halfway through Bubba’s photobook on Shutterfly. Sometimes I still help out at the bakery and occasionally I see friends. But I can only do one or maybe two things a day. Doing things outside of the house requires a lot of coordination and motivation I often don’t have. I am still trying to find my new even keel and feel fulfilled with myself, my marriage, and as a mother. I am trying to figure out who I can be with so many things taking from me.

It’s rough but fulfilling in ways I never imagined. I feel like myself but I also feel stretched thin. The world is forever changed but it continues on as it always had.

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